Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
smell my finger.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
