I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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