OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
