WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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