Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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