his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He felt like a one man threesome
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
