Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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