I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Panties = found
Randomize