Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
