Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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