Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm passing your future prison.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
