I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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