I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize