You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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