he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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