Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is classic penis vs brain.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
