And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
