Porn is love you can see.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize