HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
