You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
