You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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