porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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