He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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