oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
