On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
