I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
