pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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