He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They are going to name an STD after you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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