he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
