so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
