I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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