what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
