I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
