i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
