Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
