There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
