Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
