Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
