What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
