There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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