i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize