Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Quick, to the slutcave!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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