and i looked up. we had an audience...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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