five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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