i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
