i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sext me about skeletons
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
