I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
