Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
