Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
