she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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