Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
