You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
