I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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