i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
