Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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