i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
