I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize