I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
