I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
